I’ve been feeling the urge and need to write, whether it be stories, ideas, scripts, blogs, or just chicken scratch. I cant seem to find the time and space to do it. It’s so limited, yet I know I have wasted so much of it It feels like time is flowing like a leaking waterpipe and I only have my hands to catch it.
Its time for me to master time and own it, control it manipulate it...treat it like my little bitch. I to hardcode it in my head to see it like a film that I am planning and editing it in my head.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Been a while
I originally started this blog as a point in which my dichotomous ends would meet. Where my sarcastic biting irony and observations could coexist with my faith and reverence. Optimism and hope can collide with hard logic and reason.
It has been well over a year since I have written any blogs. My blogs seem to come and go in phases much the same as how often I check places like myspace or facebook.
I happened upon 2 news articles regarding Christianity (or religion) and homosexuality. The first one was a study on the affects that homophobia has had on Christianity. "Research into the declining respect for Christianity among young people has identitfied religious hostility to LGBT people as a major factor. An investigation by The Barna Group, an evangelical market research company, into the attitudes of Americans aged 16 to 29, makes grim reading for religious leaders. 91% of young non-Christians and 80% of young churchgoers said "anti-homosexual" describes Christianity. Further research found that both groups said that Christians "show excessive contempt and unloving attitudes towards gays and lesbians." For evangelical Christians, their hardline attitude toward gay people in recent decades has severely tarnished their image. The Barna Group reports: Young Christians told researchers that the church has made homosexuality a "bigger sin" than anything else and not helped them apply the biblical teaching on homosexuality to their friendships with gays and lesbians."
The other article is about Proposition 8 in California and the drive to ban gay marriage by multiple religious groups. Apparently several Protestants, Mormons, and Catholics are joining forces to bring a constitutional ban to gay marriage. Yet at the same time "The literature that volunteers distributed was intended to reinforce the campaign's message that the amendment is "pro-marriage and children" instead of anti-gay." How is it possible to claim that you are not anit-gay when the entire purpose of your campaign and amendment is to ban gay Marriage.
The only argument presented was that the definition of marriage has been between a man and women for as long as time. If the only basis for continuing a social tradition is longevity and/or tradition, it has no legal, logical, or even ethical or moral merit. This is even more so true when taking into account that in the U.S. there is supposed to be a separation of Church and state. So any religious definition is irrevelent to the law.
But when confronting this issue on religious and moral terms, those proposing a ban on gay marriage can still be found as unethical when judged against thier own religious beliefs, esp Christians. There are only a few Old Testament verses that can be trotted out to claim the evil sin of homosexuality. The same tired 2-3 are always used (because there really isnt that much on the topic). First, this is no more than any other sin represented in the Old Testament (in fact it isnt anywhere near the top of sins metioned, or talked about in the bible). Yet it is treated with the most vile outrage above any other sin by the Christian Church. Furthermore, as Christians, by defintion, the primary source of wisdom and guidance should come from Jesus Christ. Christ repeatedly highlighted that he came to fullfill the law. The Pharises repeatedly tried to test his faith and bring up arcane rules and laws from the Old Testament and Jesus repeatly sent the message, that it was not man's place to judge unless he had no sin himself.
Every parable Christ told and every action he took was in stark contrast the Pharises who perpetually tried to point out the sins of others, and were far too concentrated on law. This was not just in his parables sermons and stories. Jesus preferred to stay amoungst the lepers, the poor, the hookers, thieves, and every "sinner" the Pharises were against. Jesus was above unconditional love and respect, about loving all of God's creation, loving thy neighbor and thy enemy. It makes me angry and sad to realise, repeatedly that the majority of the Christian church really are not true Christians at heart, they are merely modern day Pharises. Yet they claim to be working for God and Jesus.
Is this really what you think God and Jesus are about? Hate? Fear? Judgement? Denial of rights? Sticking your nose in other people's private matters? (make no mistake, it is a private matter. Gays are not pushing for the promotion of gayness in public schools. The fear of this is merely the illogical reasoning based only on the slippery slope theory - which is predominantly only used, when real logical reasoning cannot be found).
Perhaps my anger on the matter is not just about human rights, homophobia, and equality. What is getting to me most is that all of this is stemming from such a false and unChrist-like place, yet it attempts to use the veil of Christianity as its moral ground. Jesus, the one actually represented in the Bible and not the one made up by modern "Christians", would never have supported such behaviour and condemnation especially through manmade laws.
I guess I shouldnt be so dissappointed or angry as I do have my own personal relationship with God, and that is what matters. It is comforting to KNOW that God is nothing like these people.
It has been well over a year since I have written any blogs. My blogs seem to come and go in phases much the same as how often I check places like myspace or facebook.
I happened upon 2 news articles regarding Christianity (or religion) and homosexuality. The first one was a study on the affects that homophobia has had on Christianity. "Research into the declining respect for Christianity among young people has identitfied religious hostility to LGBT people as a major factor. An investigation by The Barna Group, an evangelical market research company, into the attitudes of Americans aged 16 to 29, makes grim reading for religious leaders. 91% of young non-Christians and 80% of young churchgoers said "anti-homosexual" describes Christianity. Further research found that both groups said that Christians "show excessive contempt and unloving attitudes towards gays and lesbians." For evangelical Christians, their hardline attitude toward gay people in recent decades has severely tarnished their image. The Barna Group reports: Young Christians told researchers that the church has made homosexuality a "bigger sin" than anything else and not helped them apply the biblical teaching on homosexuality to their friendships with gays and lesbians."
The other article is about Proposition 8 in California and the drive to ban gay marriage by multiple religious groups. Apparently several Protestants, Mormons, and Catholics are joining forces to bring a constitutional ban to gay marriage. Yet at the same time "The literature that volunteers distributed was intended to reinforce the campaign's message that the amendment is "pro-marriage and children" instead of anti-gay." How is it possible to claim that you are not anit-gay when the entire purpose of your campaign and amendment is to ban gay Marriage.
The only argument presented was that the definition of marriage has been between a man and women for as long as time. If the only basis for continuing a social tradition is longevity and/or tradition, it has no legal, logical, or even ethical or moral merit. This is even more so true when taking into account that in the U.S. there is supposed to be a separation of Church and state. So any religious definition is irrevelent to the law.
But when confronting this issue on religious and moral terms, those proposing a ban on gay marriage can still be found as unethical when judged against thier own religious beliefs, esp Christians. There are only a few Old Testament verses that can be trotted out to claim the evil sin of homosexuality. The same tired 2-3 are always used (because there really isnt that much on the topic). First, this is no more than any other sin represented in the Old Testament (in fact it isnt anywhere near the top of sins metioned, or talked about in the bible). Yet it is treated with the most vile outrage above any other sin by the Christian Church. Furthermore, as Christians, by defintion, the primary source of wisdom and guidance should come from Jesus Christ. Christ repeatedly highlighted that he came to fullfill the law. The Pharises repeatedly tried to test his faith and bring up arcane rules and laws from the Old Testament and Jesus repeatly sent the message, that it was not man's place to judge unless he had no sin himself.
Every parable Christ told and every action he took was in stark contrast the Pharises who perpetually tried to point out the sins of others, and were far too concentrated on law. This was not just in his parables sermons and stories. Jesus preferred to stay amoungst the lepers, the poor, the hookers, thieves, and every "sinner" the Pharises were against. Jesus was above unconditional love and respect, about loving all of God's creation, loving thy neighbor and thy enemy. It makes me angry and sad to realise, repeatedly that the majority of the Christian church really are not true Christians at heart, they are merely modern day Pharises. Yet they claim to be working for God and Jesus.
Is this really what you think God and Jesus are about? Hate? Fear? Judgement? Denial of rights? Sticking your nose in other people's private matters? (make no mistake, it is a private matter. Gays are not pushing for the promotion of gayness in public schools. The fear of this is merely the illogical reasoning based only on the slippery slope theory - which is predominantly only used, when real logical reasoning cannot be found).
Perhaps my anger on the matter is not just about human rights, homophobia, and equality. What is getting to me most is that all of this is stemming from such a false and unChrist-like place, yet it attempts to use the veil of Christianity as its moral ground. Jesus, the one actually represented in the Bible and not the one made up by modern "Christians", would never have supported such behaviour and condemnation especially through manmade laws.
I guess I shouldnt be so dissappointed or angry as I do have my own personal relationship with God, and that is what matters. It is comforting to KNOW that God is nothing like these people.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Out of the darkness
Me: So ya know....
Jesus: Uh oh I can smell this one and its a stinker...
Me: No trust me, this one is like fuckin aromatherapy ... n shit
Jesus: Aromatherapy n shit... they should market that
Me: If it smells like my natural essence they should bottle it
Jesus: Essence
Me: Ya, so ya know how some days ya wake up and you just know that everything you touch is better than gold... platinum even.
Jesus: Would you dare to say Bling even? Ice perhaps?
Me: Wow, you're like right there with me. Ya, Ice baby! You feel so on top if it all that even yo shit seems like you're passing golden nuggets or rocks. Like there were frickin leprechauns up there spinning out a pot o gold. And you're like how the shit did leprechauns get up there? But you realize, shit, I'll let them stay if it means Im shittin gold
Jesus: Ya, life is great, everything is golden... and leprechauns have camped out in your darkness.
Me: That's a pretty frickin eventful day if you ask me.
Jesus: Was there a question before the leprechauns took over your anus?
Me: There are those golden days where the second you wake up, you know its going to be a golden leprechaun ass day. But where does that come from? And why aren't the leprechauns there every day? Where do they go when you aint shittin gold?
Jesus: Leprechauns needs off days too. They need a few days off to kick back a few Guinness or Black Velvet. You know, workin conditions aren't so great up there in your darkness.
Me: I clean house... but ya I got ya
Jesus: Union
Jesus: Uh oh I can smell this one and its a stinker...
Me: No trust me, this one is like fuckin aromatherapy ... n shit
Jesus: Aromatherapy n shit... they should market that
Me: If it smells like my natural essence they should bottle it
Jesus: Essence
Me: Ya, so ya know how some days ya wake up and you just know that everything you touch is better than gold... platinum even.
Jesus: Would you dare to say Bling even? Ice perhaps?
Me: Wow, you're like right there with me. Ya, Ice baby! You feel so on top if it all that even yo shit seems like you're passing golden nuggets or rocks. Like there were frickin leprechauns up there spinning out a pot o gold. And you're like how the shit did leprechauns get up there? But you realize, shit, I'll let them stay if it means Im shittin gold
Jesus: Ya, life is great, everything is golden... and leprechauns have camped out in your darkness.
Me: That's a pretty frickin eventful day if you ask me.
Jesus: Was there a question before the leprechauns took over your anus?
Me: There are those golden days where the second you wake up, you know its going to be a golden leprechaun ass day. But where does that come from? And why aren't the leprechauns there every day? Where do they go when you aint shittin gold?
Jesus: Leprechauns needs off days too. They need a few days off to kick back a few Guinness or Black Velvet. You know, workin conditions aren't so great up there in your darkness.
Me: I clean house... but ya I got ya
Jesus: Union
Nike!
Me: I dont want to complain anyone
Jesus: I'm sorry... were you just complaining that you complain too much?
Me: Exactly
Jesus: It's like I know exactly what you are thinking... AMAZING!
Me: ummmm ya... So no complaints. No overthinking. Just do....
Jesus: NIKE BITCH!!! Nike!
Me: Who knew advertising execs were like zen philosophers
Jesus: Right here... me me me
Me: Nike!
Jesus: I'm sorry... were you just complaining that you complain too much?
Me: Exactly
Jesus: It's like I know exactly what you are thinking... AMAZING!
Me: ummmm ya... So no complaints. No overthinking. Just do....
Jesus: NIKE BITCH!!! Nike!
Me: Who knew advertising execs were like zen philosophers
Jesus: Right here... me me me
Me: Nike!
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Gay, JesusJunkie, GodSquad, Homeymidwest transplant, or Starbucks?
Me: So I never really fall for gay boys
Jesus: Ya, you're kinda masochistic like that.
Me: Well homos are just soo ...
Jesus: Gay?
Me: Ya, you took the word right outta my mouth
Jesus: Ya that one was really hard. It took some real brain power.
Me: OK, well I think I might have found a homo!!!
Jesus: Finally
Me: Well actually I dont know
Jesus: figures
Me: I need some help on this one. Can I at least have a new updated gaydar? Mine kinda sucks and sometimes faghags have a better one than I do.
Jesus: Are you sure yours isnt working? Or do you just not like what you are picking up on your gaydar?
Me: hmmmm. Im not sure. Maybe both. But back to the guy!
Jesus: oh yeah. Go ahead tell me about your little faggot crush
Me: That ain't right! You know I would never go for a little faggot. But Im not even sure if he is gay!
Jesus: Of course. Damn you do need a better gaydar.
Me: He works at Starbucks
Jesus: Another one!!!! You are fuckin ridiculous! Do you only allow yourself to have a crush on starbucks workers?
Me: I know! I know! But this is far worse. I dont even know if the guy is gay. I have no idea.
Jesus: Clues?
Me: He is really nice, pleasant smile and demeanor, and its like his face lights up when he smiles, even though he isnt smiling that big.
Jesus: WOW that was really homo!!! hahahahh Is that the most homo I have ever heard you without intentionally gaying it up?
Me: Shit was it? Arg I dont care
Jesus: That's you're only clue? OK the way you said it was supergay but how does being nice and having a nice smile make him gay?
Me: OK here is the thing
Jesus: OK this sounds like its going to turn into somthing ridiculous
Me: Straight guys are only nice in a certain way. WHen they smile its not quite the same. I cant quite place it. Its like they only smile with thier mouth
Jesus: as opposed to their hands... cuz gays like to use the jazzhands ya know
Me: Haha SHUTUP! You know what I mean. It's almost like, for the most part, the average straight guy smiles with just his mouth while gay guys, their whole face changes when they smile or something. Ijeoma says gay guys eyes are usually more expressive when smiling. I agree and think even the rest of the face muscles might also be used more. His whole demeanor slightly changes when he smiles. which is not typical straightboy. There are a few exceptions though.
Jesus: Exceptions? fill me in
Me: OK I think he can call under a few different catgories or a mix of them: Gay, Homey Midwestern Transplant, Christian (the love everyone kind, not the ultraconservative judgemental kind), or Starbucks.
Jesus What the...
Me: Im serious. There is a certain kind of nice attitude or demeanor or niceness that only people in these categories with maybe a few random exceptions here or there. And those really nice guy exceptions, alot of people think they are gay!
Jesus: Hmmm OK you kinda have a point. Does this mean straight guys are mean?
Me: No just a different kinda nice. Usually people who have some Jesus (or other spirituality), or are open and free, or are socialable and inviting have this kinda niceness and smile. Hence: Gay, JesusJunkie, GodSquad, Homeymidwest transplant, or Starbucks worker.
Jesus: But you got nothing else.
Me: I got nothing. So now .. I dont know
Jesus: Screw it, just ask the homofucker out!
Me: What?!?!?
Jesus: You really dont have much opportunity. You only see the cocksucker in the drivethru. What kinda longwinded lame scheme are you gonna be able to come up with to find out if he'd like his latte with a side of penis or pussy. Stop holding your dick in your had and waiting for someone to grab it! Just go!
Me: wooooo
Jesus: Grab that venti vanilla frap with an extra shot and cream
Jesus: Ya, you're kinda masochistic like that.
Me: Well homos are just soo ...
Jesus: Gay?
Me: Ya, you took the word right outta my mouth
Jesus: Ya that one was really hard. It took some real brain power.
Me: OK, well I think I might have found a homo!!!
Jesus: Finally
Me: Well actually I dont know
Jesus: figures
Me: I need some help on this one. Can I at least have a new updated gaydar? Mine kinda sucks and sometimes faghags have a better one than I do.
Jesus: Are you sure yours isnt working? Or do you just not like what you are picking up on your gaydar?
Me: hmmmm. Im not sure. Maybe both. But back to the guy!
Jesus: oh yeah. Go ahead tell me about your little faggot crush
Me: That ain't right! You know I would never go for a little faggot. But Im not even sure if he is gay!
Jesus: Of course. Damn you do need a better gaydar.
Me: He works at Starbucks
Jesus: Another one!!!! You are fuckin ridiculous! Do you only allow yourself to have a crush on starbucks workers?
Me: I know! I know! But this is far worse. I dont even know if the guy is gay. I have no idea.
Jesus: Clues?
Me: He is really nice, pleasant smile and demeanor, and its like his face lights up when he smiles, even though he isnt smiling that big.
Jesus: WOW that was really homo!!! hahahahh Is that the most homo I have ever heard you without intentionally gaying it up?
Me: Shit was it? Arg I dont care
Jesus: That's you're only clue? OK the way you said it was supergay but how does being nice and having a nice smile make him gay?
Me: OK here is the thing
Jesus: OK this sounds like its going to turn into somthing ridiculous
Me: Straight guys are only nice in a certain way. WHen they smile its not quite the same. I cant quite place it. Its like they only smile with thier mouth
Jesus: as opposed to their hands... cuz gays like to use the jazzhands ya know
Me: Haha SHUTUP! You know what I mean. It's almost like, for the most part, the average straight guy smiles with just his mouth while gay guys, their whole face changes when they smile or something. Ijeoma says gay guys eyes are usually more expressive when smiling. I agree and think even the rest of the face muscles might also be used more. His whole demeanor slightly changes when he smiles. which is not typical straightboy. There are a few exceptions though.
Jesus: Exceptions? fill me in
Me: OK I think he can call under a few different catgories or a mix of them: Gay, Homey Midwestern Transplant, Christian (the love everyone kind, not the ultraconservative judgemental kind), or Starbucks.
Jesus What the...
Me: Im serious. There is a certain kind of nice attitude or demeanor or niceness that only people in these categories with maybe a few random exceptions here or there. And those really nice guy exceptions, alot of people think they are gay!
Jesus: Hmmm OK you kinda have a point. Does this mean straight guys are mean?
Me: No just a different kinda nice. Usually people who have some Jesus (or other spirituality), or are open and free, or are socialable and inviting have this kinda niceness and smile. Hence: Gay, JesusJunkie, GodSquad, Homeymidwest transplant, or Starbucks worker.
Jesus: But you got nothing else.
Me: I got nothing. So now .. I dont know
Jesus: Screw it, just ask the homofucker out!
Me: What?!?!?
Jesus: You really dont have much opportunity. You only see the cocksucker in the drivethru. What kinda longwinded lame scheme are you gonna be able to come up with to find out if he'd like his latte with a side of penis or pussy. Stop holding your dick in your had and waiting for someone to grab it! Just go!
Me: wooooo
Jesus: Grab that venti vanilla frap with an extra shot and cream
Sunday, February 4, 2007
How 'bout them Bears?
Me: So its Super bowl Sunday!
Jesus: I know! I can't wait wait to find out who wins!
Me: Wait... shut up
Jesus: Aren't you excited like every other redblooded American?
Me: Well I wont be able to watch because I work
Jesus: Sucks to be you... This thing is like bigger than Jesus, well football is bigger than Jesus in Ameica, as opposed to futbol
Me: That aint right, dont go all Lennon on me. To be honest I'm not as interested this year
Jesus: Oh come on! Hot sweaty guys in tight pants tackling each other and getting all dirty? You know you love it
Me: I dont know
Jesus: It's cuz your Tommy isnt there isnt it?
Me: Wow you really get me.
Jesus: Ya I gave Peyton more talent and the numbers ... but that Tom Brady he got some talent and all the looks and 3 rings
Me: I guess that kinda balances out a little. I think I would have settled for Phillip Rivers too
Jesus: Not as hot as Brady though... damn
Me: Now you're scaring me.
Jesus: You love it when I cater my persona to yours...
Me: Dude there's a line, and I think you crossed it
Jesus: I'm comfortable with my...
Me: WOW ... thats like Parents talking about... it... switch topics
Jesus: How 'bout those Bears? Rex Grossman aint that....
Me: Hahahah Stop it... he is sorta cute though
Jesus: I was gonna say he aint as bad as everyone is saying... Don't you watch for anything but the cutie QBs? And what... bears aren't your preference?
Me: I'm not answering that... I enjoy watching the game, I just follow the teams with the hot QBs... Can you start letting the Cardinals and the Buccaneers win and get more coverage?
Jesus: I know! I can't wait wait to find out who wins!
Me: Wait... shut up
Jesus: Aren't you excited like every other redblooded American?
Me: Well I wont be able to watch because I work
Jesus: Sucks to be you... This thing is like bigger than Jesus, well football is bigger than Jesus in Ameica, as opposed to futbol
Me: That aint right, dont go all Lennon on me. To be honest I'm not as interested this year
Jesus: Oh come on! Hot sweaty guys in tight pants tackling each other and getting all dirty? You know you love it
Me: I dont know
Jesus: It's cuz your Tommy isnt there isnt it?
Me: Wow you really get me.
Jesus: Ya I gave Peyton more talent and the numbers ... but that Tom Brady he got some talent and all the looks and 3 rings
Me: I guess that kinda balances out a little. I think I would have settled for Phillip Rivers too
Jesus: Not as hot as Brady though... damn
Me: Now you're scaring me.
Jesus: You love it when I cater my persona to yours...
Me: Dude there's a line, and I think you crossed it
Jesus: I'm comfortable with my...
Me: WOW ... thats like Parents talking about... it... switch topics
Jesus: How 'bout those Bears? Rex Grossman aint that....
Me: Hahahah Stop it... he is sorta cute though
Jesus: I was gonna say he aint as bad as everyone is saying... Don't you watch for anything but the cutie QBs? And what... bears aren't your preference?
Me: I'm not answering that... I enjoy watching the game, I just follow the teams with the hot QBs... Can you start letting the Cardinals and the Buccaneers win and get more coverage?
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Hold on!
Me: I'm wuite proud of myself
Jesus: What did you do?
Me: No no, its what I didn't do!
Jesus: Is this where I'm supposed to tell you to go on? I kinda feel like I might regret it.
Me: I didn't grab of fondle one single tit last nite! Isnt that great? Not ONE! Well I grazezd a couple of them but that was purely accidental. And comlimenting some girl on her how I'm strangly drawn to her boobies when she's got a tattoo across the entire set... Well I can't be blamed for that ... and I didnt even touch them!
Jesus: You really feel special for not touching them?
Me: Ya, I was drunk and you know how appealing they can be when there is not gay cock in the room... OK there was, but I didnt want any of those penises. Do you want me to grab penis instead? ... that is kinda hard to get at too.
Jesus: What?
Me: There is more of an angle, and they are hidden behind pants, usually jeans. That's thicker material than a thin tshirt or tank top. Boobies... those are a clean straight shot Bam, you're there.
Jesus: You just shouldnt be grabbing girls boobies like that.
Me: You made them!
Jesus: Yes, but you shouldnt be grabbibg tits, and besides you're gay!
Me: Dude, send me some good penis and I'll grab it and hold on to it for life! And not straight penis! I have enough problems with that. No more str8 penis, unless you turn it homo without any drama
But arent you proud... I didnt grab 1!!!
Jesus: Wow... its like watching a graduation or baby taking its first steps Im so proud
Me: Seriously, that took some effort. It super hard when there is no good gay penis around , and even if there were its sometimes intimidating. But Ijeoma and Maria helped, they had to scold me not to grab anything last nite. See, once you send me some penis I can hold on to, I wont need to dick around with boobies. Thanks for my own penis, I love it, but i need another, with a cute intelligent charming goofy dorky boy attached.
Jesus: Just hold on to your wood. It will happen soon enough
Jesus: What did you do?
Me: No no, its what I didn't do!
Jesus: Is this where I'm supposed to tell you to go on? I kinda feel like I might regret it.
Me: I didn't grab of fondle one single tit last nite! Isnt that great? Not ONE! Well I grazezd a couple of them but that was purely accidental. And comlimenting some girl on her how I'm strangly drawn to her boobies when she's got a tattoo across the entire set... Well I can't be blamed for that ... and I didnt even touch them!
Jesus: You really feel special for not touching them?
Me: Ya, I was drunk and you know how appealing they can be when there is not gay cock in the room... OK there was, but I didnt want any of those penises. Do you want me to grab penis instead? ... that is kinda hard to get at too.
Jesus: What?
Me: There is more of an angle, and they are hidden behind pants, usually jeans. That's thicker material than a thin tshirt or tank top. Boobies... those are a clean straight shot Bam, you're there.
Jesus: You just shouldnt be grabbing girls boobies like that.
Me: You made them!
Jesus: Yes, but you shouldnt be grabbibg tits, and besides you're gay!
Me: Dude, send me some good penis and I'll grab it and hold on to it for life! And not straight penis! I have enough problems with that. No more str8 penis, unless you turn it homo without any drama
But arent you proud... I didnt grab 1!!!
Jesus: Wow... its like watching a graduation or baby taking its first steps Im so proud
Me: Seriously, that took some effort. It super hard when there is no good gay penis around , and even if there were its sometimes intimidating. But Ijeoma and Maria helped, they had to scold me not to grab anything last nite. See, once you send me some penis I can hold on to, I wont need to dick around with boobies. Thanks for my own penis, I love it, but i need another, with a cute intelligent charming goofy dorky boy attached.
Jesus: Just hold on to your wood. It will happen soon enough
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Heaven
Me: So I was thinking...
Jesus: I'm already not liking how this is starting
Me: I think i was having one of those not so great days
Jesus: Are you gonna start whining? You know I ain't got time for that shit
Me: no but... Hey why you gotta be all crass n shit. I'm like... sensative
Jesus: Did you just pull a stinky lump of shit out your ass n serve it like its fried chicken? The Colonel aint playin that
Me: Wow Fried Chicken sounds amazing!
Jesus: Uh uh. Dont try to avoid this topic... Dont tell me you're mr sensative when you got all these walls up. And if I were to come at you all sweet and sappy like that 2 footsteps in the sand suddenly turning into 1 set of steps crap, that other christians eat up, you would just barf ... immediately. You hate that sappy shit
Me: Damn... this is why you're Jesus. Perfect, you know how to come at me perfectly
Jesus: Now finish your story
Me: OK so I think I might actually have been thinking about food and knowing I need to work out and lose weight, or maybe I was thinking about wanting a boyfriend but always seem to only fall for straight guys
Jesus: thats def possible, that last one is always on your mind.
Me: So I was just kinda wandering in thought and thinking about how great it would be if things were perfect, like eat what i want with no consequences, not have to work, money not ever being an issue/problem. And my mind naturally started wandering towards hot ass boys
Jesus: Naturally... what everyone wants... of course
Me: Right! So I started thinking about heaven. And this got me thinking what heaven would be like, cuz the perfect heaven would have half or fully naked boys everywhere and they would all be kinda dorky and in love with me .... well not all of them, and jizz wouldnt be sticky, and there would be no children, and I could pluck fried chicken from trees without getting fat or getting my fingers dirty n greasy... BUT somehow still be able to lick my fingers and get flavor from holding the chicken
Jesus: That last part does sound amazing!
Me: Right!!! dont it? but then it got me thinking ... wait ... this wouldnt be heaven for everyone so what is the deal? Well maybe everyone can agree on the fried chicken... and the people that aint down with the chicken probably belong in hell. ... Heaven?
Jesus: What were you just telling me earlier?
Jesus: I'm already not liking how this is starting
Me: I think i was having one of those not so great days
Jesus: Are you gonna start whining? You know I ain't got time for that shit
Me: no but... Hey why you gotta be all crass n shit. I'm like... sensative
Jesus: Did you just pull a stinky lump of shit out your ass n serve it like its fried chicken? The Colonel aint playin that
Me: Wow Fried Chicken sounds amazing!
Jesus: Uh uh. Dont try to avoid this topic... Dont tell me you're mr sensative when you got all these walls up. And if I were to come at you all sweet and sappy like that 2 footsteps in the sand suddenly turning into 1 set of steps crap, that other christians eat up, you would just barf ... immediately. You hate that sappy shit
Me: Damn... this is why you're Jesus. Perfect, you know how to come at me perfectly
Jesus: Now finish your story
Me: OK so I think I might actually have been thinking about food and knowing I need to work out and lose weight, or maybe I was thinking about wanting a boyfriend but always seem to only fall for straight guys
Jesus: thats def possible, that last one is always on your mind.
Me: So I was just kinda wandering in thought and thinking about how great it would be if things were perfect, like eat what i want with no consequences, not have to work, money not ever being an issue/problem. And my mind naturally started wandering towards hot ass boys
Jesus: Naturally... what everyone wants... of course
Me: Right! So I started thinking about heaven. And this got me thinking what heaven would be like, cuz the perfect heaven would have half or fully naked boys everywhere and they would all be kinda dorky and in love with me .... well not all of them, and jizz wouldnt be sticky, and there would be no children, and I could pluck fried chicken from trees without getting fat or getting my fingers dirty n greasy... BUT somehow still be able to lick my fingers and get flavor from holding the chicken
Jesus: That last part does sound amazing!
Me: Right!!! dont it? but then it got me thinking ... wait ... this wouldnt be heaven for everyone so what is the deal? Well maybe everyone can agree on the fried chicken... and the people that aint down with the chicken probably belong in hell. ... Heaven?
Jesus: What were you just telling me earlier?
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Nudge
Me: So I was kinda bummed cuz 2 new positions opened up in QA. I really wanted Ijeoma to join us but she didnt bother applying
Jesus: Ahhhh are you lonely?
Me: Ya actually I am really lonely. Can't you just drop some hotness on my lap so I can have my boyfriend and move one?
Jesus: Your fragile little soul can't handle the heat
Me: Anyways, while I didnt get Ijeoma to come over, Holly is really seat a great. The really exciting thing is, that we were just chatting naturally about everything as we worked. We dont have the exact same goals but we already agreed to push each other to write every day. I'm really happy and excited about this.
Jesus: It's nice to have little outside forces nudge you along
Me: Can ya do a little better at that? .. like make the next little nudge not so little? and more of like a pump and grind? A really good hard...
....
Me: Hello? ... Hello?
Jesus: Ahhhh are you lonely?
Me: Ya actually I am really lonely. Can't you just drop some hotness on my lap so I can have my boyfriend and move one?
Jesus: Your fragile little soul can't handle the heat
Me: Anyways, while I didnt get Ijeoma to come over, Holly is really seat a great. The really exciting thing is, that we were just chatting naturally about everything as we worked. We dont have the exact same goals but we already agreed to push each other to write every day. I'm really happy and excited about this.
Jesus: It's nice to have little outside forces nudge you along
Me: Can ya do a little better at that? .. like make the next little nudge not so little? and more of like a pump and grind? A really good hard...
....
Me: Hello? ... Hello?
Sunday, January 14, 2007
I already know
Me: I just realised that EVERY day this week since my last blog on here I have woken up around the same time, well before my alarm clark was set to go off
Jesus: I know
Me: Just the week before the alarm was barely able to get me up
Jesus: I know
Me: But I didnt do anything productive with this time.
Jesus: Yup
Me: You dont say much do you?
Jesus: Is there anything for me to say that you dont arleady...
Me: I know ...
Jesus: I know
Me: Just the week before the alarm was barely able to get me up
Jesus: I know
Me: But I didnt do anything productive with this time.
Jesus: Yup
Me: You dont say much do you?
Jesus: Is there anything for me to say that you dont arleady...
Me: I know ...
Monday, January 8, 2007
Clean out
Me: So its the weekend and I woke up before Noon... AND cleaned my bathroom!
Jesus: WOW! I should grant you immediate access to heaven for that
Me: Yeah somehow I've convinced myself that this is a major accomplishment worthy of praise...
Jesus: I'm hiding away my nail marks on my hands because they are sooooo unworthy next to your greatness, hold on while I open the pearly gates for you right now and bestow VIP access to heaven
Me: I even cleaned house on my computer... but I'm not done yet. So that deserves some angel wings too..
Jesus: OK I'll toss you your fairy wings, you deserve that.
Me: Thanks for that... I finally moved my alarm to the other side of the room so I cant automatically snooze it. I seriously do need help with consistantly waking up earlier and getting more accomplished in the day... Like maybe you can send down a small harmless but annoying bolt of lighting at about 9:45 every morning?
Jesus: Ya sure, lets just clean ourselves of self motivation as well...
Me: Hey Im trying here. School starts in a little over a week. I havent used the break in school to study Italian or write. Im trying to get myself on a daily schedule... I do need help. For some reason I've just been stuck in the sloth like routine of nothingness.
Jesus: Well it's quite appropriate that the day the were able to get your fatass out of bed earlier you also wiped things clean, and fresh
Jesus: WOW! I should grant you immediate access to heaven for that
Me: Yeah somehow I've convinced myself that this is a major accomplishment worthy of praise...
Jesus: I'm hiding away my nail marks on my hands because they are sooooo unworthy next to your greatness, hold on while I open the pearly gates for you right now and bestow VIP access to heaven
Me: I even cleaned house on my computer... but I'm not done yet. So that deserves some angel wings too..
Jesus: OK I'll toss you your fairy wings, you deserve that.
Me: Thanks for that... I finally moved my alarm to the other side of the room so I cant automatically snooze it. I seriously do need help with consistantly waking up earlier and getting more accomplished in the day... Like maybe you can send down a small harmless but annoying bolt of lighting at about 9:45 every morning?
Jesus: Ya sure, lets just clean ourselves of self motivation as well...
Me: Hey Im trying here. School starts in a little over a week. I havent used the break in school to study Italian or write. Im trying to get myself on a daily schedule... I do need help. For some reason I've just been stuck in the sloth like routine of nothingness.
Jesus: Well it's quite appropriate that the day the were able to get your fatass out of bed earlier you also wiped things clean, and fresh
Saturday, December 30, 2006
The Hoff
Me: So this morning I was watching the E channel... True Hollywood Stories, or something like that
Jesus: I'm glad to see that you are making the most of your time on earth
Me: I know, right? It was just on while I'm getting outta bed and waking up
Jesus: "Thou shalt not kill... your braincells"
Me: OK OK. So anyways... It was the story of David Hasselhoff
Jesus: Well then, why didnt you say so to begin with? This is obviously quality time... All your sins are forgiven now
Me: Ya, so it was really hard to watch... At one point he actually said something really close to "...And that is when I knew that people could no longer see me as the perfect hero". .... PERFECT HERO!
And later he actually said "There is David Hasselhoff (still referring to himself in this grandiose manner), ... and then there is... The Hoff"
OH MY GAWD!!! He just referred to himself as "The Hoff", ...And he was serious! And even more proud and in awe of "The Hoff", then he was of "David Hasselhoff" . And you could really see the glow, cockyness, and reverence in his eyes and body when referencing "The Hoff" and how soooo cool he thought "The Hoff" is
WHY GOD WHY?!?!?!? Why is a man like this successful? Why is he rich and on TV for the world to see?
Jesus: This is the work of the Devil
Jesus: I'm glad to see that you are making the most of your time on earth
Me: I know, right? It was just on while I'm getting outta bed and waking up
Jesus: "Thou shalt not kill... your braincells"
Me: OK OK. So anyways... It was the story of David Hasselhoff
Jesus: Well then, why didnt you say so to begin with? This is obviously quality time... All your sins are forgiven now
Me: Ya, so it was really hard to watch... At one point he actually said something really close to "...And that is when I knew that people could no longer see me as the perfect hero". .... PERFECT HERO!
And later he actually said "There is David Hasselhoff (still referring to himself in this grandiose manner), ... and then there is... The Hoff"
OH MY GAWD!!! He just referred to himself as "The Hoff", ...And he was serious! And even more proud and in awe of "The Hoff", then he was of "David Hasselhoff" . And you could really see the glow, cockyness, and reverence in his eyes and body when referencing "The Hoff" and how soooo cool he thought "The Hoff" is
WHY GOD WHY?!?!?!? Why is a man like this successful? Why is he rich and on TV for the world to see?
Jesus: This is the work of the Devil
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Right on
Me: So I'm really self centered and arrogant at times
Jesus: I should compliment you on how truthful you can be
Me: Ya, thanks for that
Me: Hey .... sideorder: Are you sarcastic with everyone
Jesus: People hear what they are listening for and what they are ready to hear
Me: damn... I was waiting for you to tell me lottery numbers, what slot machine to put money into, that I'll fall in love tomorrow, and that I will be offered a directing job with complete creative control before I am done with college even...
Jesus: You're not ready for that
Me: Shit... ya I am... Hey remember when the voices told me to Gamble at Green Valley Ranch Casino at like 1am and I wouldnt listen, but they kept telling me to, and missed the exit and almost went to another casion instead and they told me "No idiot, we said Green Valley Ranch Casino... tonight" Then I won like $2500!?!?!?
Jesus: Ya goodtimes
Me: Can you do that again... this time make it millions and throw in a boyfriend?
Jesus: ... Sorry I wasnt paying attention ... No... the answer to your 1st question is No, Not everyone
Me: I think I have your frequency on delay.
Me: So back to being arrogant and full of myself...
Jesus: Oh ...more of that? You didnt get enought the 1st time?
Me: So I actually think I am turning into a great writer with a very unique view, slant, voice etc blah blah blah.... This, bye the way would be an excellent example of my writing prowess...
So Im think Im slowly turning into an amazing writer and always felt I was a great storyteller... a master even
Jesus: I'm sensing there is some sort of but...
Me: Wow, this is why yo're Jesus and Im .... hmmmm
Jesus: Have a loss of words there Mr amazing writer?
Me: Well ya.. that is just it. I do think that I can be amazing and even have moments of brilliance... my own brand of brilliance. and here is the but
Jesus: Im not sure if I Iwanna see your but...
Me: Anyays, While I seem to have not doubt to my own splendor and greatness, I dont have much to show for it, or prove. I have a script that is 1/4 to 1/3 done, a few short animated videos, some short little writing blurbs, chicken scratch notes and ideas, and some blogs. Yet I have this unshakable feeling of greatness confidence and destiny when it comes to storytelling and now writing. I dont know where it comes from
Jesus: That would be me. I made this
Me: Ya thanks for thatI do have this sense of being, ownership, self importance and arrogance but I dont have anything to show for it or much to back it up. Quite a few times I feel the desire or need to write, yet I get stuck and have no idea what to write. I'll sit there foever with nothing
Jesus: just write stop thinking. Isnt this part of the reason fore this paritular insane blog
Me: Right, write... right
Jesus: I should compliment you on how truthful you can be
Me: Ya, thanks for that
Me: Hey .... sideorder: Are you sarcastic with everyone
Jesus: People hear what they are listening for and what they are ready to hear
Me: damn... I was waiting for you to tell me lottery numbers, what slot machine to put money into, that I'll fall in love tomorrow, and that I will be offered a directing job with complete creative control before I am done with college even...
Jesus: You're not ready for that
Me: Shit... ya I am... Hey remember when the voices told me to Gamble at Green Valley Ranch Casino at like 1am and I wouldnt listen, but they kept telling me to, and missed the exit and almost went to another casion instead and they told me "No idiot, we said Green Valley Ranch Casino... tonight" Then I won like $2500!?!?!?
Jesus: Ya goodtimes
Me: Can you do that again... this time make it millions and throw in a boyfriend?
Jesus: ... Sorry I wasnt paying attention ... No... the answer to your 1st question is No, Not everyone
Me: I think I have your frequency on delay.
Me: So back to being arrogant and full of myself...
Jesus: Oh ...more of that? You didnt get enought the 1st time?
Me: So I actually think I am turning into a great writer with a very unique view, slant, voice etc blah blah blah.... This, bye the way would be an excellent example of my writing prowess...
So Im think Im slowly turning into an amazing writer and always felt I was a great storyteller... a master even
Jesus: I'm sensing there is some sort of but...
Me: Wow, this is why yo're Jesus and Im .... hmmmm
Jesus: Have a loss of words there Mr amazing writer?
Me: Well ya.. that is just it. I do think that I can be amazing and even have moments of brilliance... my own brand of brilliance. and here is the but
Jesus: Im not sure if I Iwanna see your but...
Me: Anyays, While I seem to have not doubt to my own splendor and greatness, I dont have much to show for it, or prove. I have a script that is 1/4 to 1/3 done, a few short animated videos, some short little writing blurbs, chicken scratch notes and ideas, and some blogs. Yet I have this unshakable feeling of greatness confidence and destiny when it comes to storytelling and now writing. I dont know where it comes from
Jesus: That would be me. I made this
Me: Ya thanks for thatI do have this sense of being, ownership, self importance and arrogance but I dont have anything to show for it or much to back it up. Quite a few times I feel the desire or need to write, yet I get stuck and have no idea what to write. I'll sit there foever with nothing
Jesus: just write stop thinking. Isnt this part of the reason fore this paritular insane blog
Me: Right, write... right
Sunday, December 24, 2006
so clear but so unheard
Me: I think I found a song that is made specifically for me!
Jeus: Ya Sure
Me: It's called Lazy Eye. It's remisniscent of Smashing Pumpkins, and has the ever building crescendo that is just waiting to exlode that I love in songs. And the lyrics... well at least some of them, fit perfect:
"I've been waiting
i've been waiting for this moment all my life
but it's not quite right
and this 'real'
it's impossible if possible
at who's blind word
so clear but so unheard
i've been waiting
i've been waiting for this silence all night long
it's just a matter of time"
The song is so fuckin good I've been listeing to it nonstop
Jesus: Ya I know
Me: Its just soooo good you have to hear it
Jesus: Um ya, I have. Like every time I dial in to your head frequency that damn song is playing. It's like I'm QAing your calls and keep hearing the same call
Me: So you've heard it, isnt fuckin amazing
Jesus: Imagine you are at working scoring a Phone Rep's call QA boy... Im scoring this call... "Active Listening" you get a ZERO
Me: Some of the lyrics are kinda lame but certain ones hit me...like of course:
"I've been waiting
i've been waiting for this moment all my life
but it's not quite right"
but also the lines:
"and this 'real'
it's impossible if possible
at who's blind word
so clear but so unheard"
Jesus: Hello? can you hear me? This is why you called? Hello? You put that damn song on repeat again.
Me: Well... I went to the mall
Jesus: My favorite place on Earth of course, I might even rank it above the Grand Canyon...
Me: I saw cute starbucks boy... but thats even lamer to bring up. I need some kind of a real crush... that was the last one I had and that was so lame, I want to feel more than that for some other boy
"I've been waiting
i've been waiting for this moment all my life
but it's not quite right"
I just... didnt want to put that topic on repeat... but there it is
Jesus: Most people are broken records... Even though you pull out your favorites often, at least you keeping looking for new ones to play
Jeus: Ya Sure
Me: It's called Lazy Eye. It's remisniscent of Smashing Pumpkins, and has the ever building crescendo that is just waiting to exlode that I love in songs. And the lyrics... well at least some of them, fit perfect:
"I've been waiting
i've been waiting for this moment all my life
but it's not quite right
and this 'real'
it's impossible if possible
at who's blind word
so clear but so unheard
i've been waiting
i've been waiting for this silence all night long
it's just a matter of time"
The song is so fuckin good I've been listeing to it nonstop
Jesus: Ya I know
Me: Its just soooo good you have to hear it
Jesus: Um ya, I have. Like every time I dial in to your head frequency that damn song is playing. It's like I'm QAing your calls and keep hearing the same call
Me: So you've heard it, isnt fuckin amazing
Jesus: Imagine you are at working scoring a Phone Rep's call QA boy... Im scoring this call... "Active Listening" you get a ZERO
Me: Some of the lyrics are kinda lame but certain ones hit me...like of course:
"I've been waiting
i've been waiting for this moment all my life
but it's not quite right"
but also the lines:
"and this 'real'
it's impossible if possible
at who's blind word
so clear but so unheard"
Jesus: Hello? can you hear me? This is why you called? Hello? You put that damn song on repeat again.
Me: Well... I went to the mall
Jesus: My favorite place on Earth of course, I might even rank it above the Grand Canyon...
Me: I saw cute starbucks boy... but thats even lamer to bring up. I need some kind of a real crush... that was the last one I had and that was so lame, I want to feel more than that for some other boy
"I've been waiting
i've been waiting for this moment all my life
but it's not quite right"
I just... didnt want to put that topic on repeat... but there it is
Jesus: Most people are broken records... Even though you pull out your favorites often, at least you keeping looking for new ones to play
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Hungover Jesus Java 2
Me: So I'm a little bummed out
Jesus: This tear's just for you
Me: Was that sarcasm?
Jesus: What? God cant crack a joke... I made you didnt I?
Me: ya... Thanks for that
Jesus: Who says I can't make a funny?
Me: Church
Jesus: They're so serious n shit
Me: So anyways, I'm kinda lonely after last nite.
Jesus: What happened ...
Me: Well I was drinking with Ijeoma, Tiffany and Jim and.... Hey dont you already know this?
Jesus: Of course, but no one like a know it all, and conversations/stories just flow better if I sprinkle a little "Really? ...Tell me about" here and there
Me: gotcha...
Jesus: So you were gonna say that Jim bummed you out.. (sarcastic grin)
Me: ya thanks for that... Ya so he mentioned looking forward to seeing some girl at someplace and that got us on the conversation of having that anxious tingly feeling when you are attracted to someone or like someone... I havent had that feeling in a long time...
And not just that initial feeling . I want to feel like some boy is attracted to me, I want to feel love.
Jesus: I love you (sarcastic grin)
Me: (laughs) OHMYGAWD!!! arg!
Jesus: Yes?
Me: ARG!
Jesus: How can I help you
Me: ARG quit it, I hate you
Jesus: No you don't... Liar... thats like 1000 hell points for you right there.
Me: I want a boy to say he loves me
Jesus: Jesus loves you
Me: I know Quit it! ... I mean like in a homo way (laughs)
Jesus: How do you know that's not what I meant?
Me: Oh that aint right
Jesus: Just messng with ya, you know playin Devil's advocate (snicker)
Me: I just want a boy to fall in love with me and tell me he loves me
Jesus: When is the last time you let yourself fall in love and told a boy you loved him?
...
Jesus: This tear's just for you
Me: Was that sarcasm?
Jesus: What? God cant crack a joke... I made you didnt I?
Me: ya... Thanks for that
Jesus: Who says I can't make a funny?
Me: Church
Jesus: They're so serious n shit
Me: So anyways, I'm kinda lonely after last nite.
Jesus: What happened ...
Me: Well I was drinking with Ijeoma, Tiffany and Jim and.... Hey dont you already know this?
Jesus: Of course, but no one like a know it all, and conversations/stories just flow better if I sprinkle a little "Really? ...Tell me about" here and there
Me: gotcha...
Jesus: So you were gonna say that Jim bummed you out.. (sarcastic grin)
Me: ya thanks for that... Ya so he mentioned looking forward to seeing some girl at someplace and that got us on the conversation of having that anxious tingly feeling when you are attracted to someone or like someone... I havent had that feeling in a long time...
And not just that initial feeling . I want to feel like some boy is attracted to me, I want to feel love.
Jesus: I love you (sarcastic grin)
Me: (laughs) OHMYGAWD!!! arg!
Jesus: Yes?
Me: ARG!
Jesus: How can I help you
Me: ARG quit it, I hate you
Jesus: No you don't... Liar... thats like 1000 hell points for you right there.
Me: I want a boy to say he loves me
Jesus: Jesus loves you
Me: I know Quit it! ... I mean like in a homo way (laughs)
Jesus: How do you know that's not what I meant?
Me: Oh that aint right
Jesus: Just messng with ya, you know playin Devil's advocate (snicker)
Me: I just want a boy to fall in love with me and tell me he loves me
Jesus: When is the last time you let yourself fall in love and told a boy you loved him?
...
Hungover Jesus Java 1
Me: What up Jesus?
Jesus: What up with you Homoslice?
Me: Dude... why you gotta be like that?
Jesus: I calls it like I seez it
Me: wha...?
Jesus: I keeps it 4 real
Me: What? Why are you talking like that?
Jesus: What? They're my words, I created them
Me: ... (speechless)
Jesus: I speak truth ... bitch
Me: Whooo cussing? What happened to "thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vein"
Jesus: Hold up, ... Is my name bitch? You calling me a bitch, bitch
Me: I need some coffee ... and water
Jesus: Ya, I created them (all cheesy smiles)
Me: ya ... thanks for that. (all cheesy smiles)
Jesus: What up with you Homoslice?
Me: Dude... why you gotta be like that?
Jesus: I calls it like I seez it
Me: wha...?
Jesus: I keeps it 4 real
Me: What? Why are you talking like that?
Jesus: What? They're my words, I created them
Me: ... (speechless)
Jesus: I speak truth ... bitch
Me: Whooo cussing? What happened to "thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vein"
Jesus: Hold up, ... Is my name bitch? You calling me a bitch, bitch
Me: I need some coffee ... and water
Jesus: Ya, I created them (all cheesy smiles)
Me: ya ... thanks for that. (all cheesy smiles)
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